The Sunrise After the Nightmare

I wanted to erase the day from the calendar of space and time. I wanted my heart to cease palpitating.  I wanted to shut out what I was hearing and seeing—the sugarcoated lies, the betrayal, the heartlessness exhibited by professing Christians.

It was rigged, I tell you, it was all rigged!

I wanted to demand why they were suddenly, after months of seeming concord, turning on Pastor. Because he spoke the truth (Galatians 4:16)???

When I retreated to the parsonage next door, I wanted to pretend I was unconscious of the impending tragedy. I wanted to play with the kids, to hold Charis forever, and ignore the lump in my throat. As Charles and Joshua burst in a few minutes later, I wanted to disbelieve the anguish that was etched on their faces.

I wanted to offer some kind of solace to Pastor—to assure him that he’d done right by fighting the good fight. I wanted to absorb the voices around me like a sponge, and then filter out the pain. I wanted to hug Mariah. I wanted to hug Ema. And I wanted to run to J.T.’s house and hug him, too. I wanted to pinch myself and awaken. I wanted to stop shaking. I wanted to explode, and although I probably shouldn’t have in quite that manner, on the way home, I did. I wanted to get rid of the junk inside my head.

But I won’t say anything. I won’t say anything at all. I’ll simply let it rest.

There will be at least a few more Sunday Morning Chronicles, but the setting will be different. We won’t be driving the long haul to church, loitering in the foyer, sitting at the pews, or playing games in our beloved Sunday school room again.

Freds, if you’re reading this (and I’m sure you are, because I strongly suspect you’re the only people that care a hoot about our internet cubbyhole, besides myself, my family, and my loyal BFF), remember:

“Therefore, since we have this ministry, as we have received mercy, we do not lose heart. But we have renounced the hidden things of shame, not walking in craftiness nor handling the word of God deceitfully, but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God. But even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing, whose minds the god of this age has blinded, who do not believe, lest the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine on them. For we do not preach ourselves, but Christ Jesus the Lord, and ourselves your bondservants for Jesus' sake. For it is the God who commanded light to shine out of darkness, who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ. But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellence of the power may be of God and not of us. We are hard-pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed—always carrying about in the body the dying of the Lord Jesus, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our body. For we who live are always delivered to death for Jesus' sake, that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So then death is working in us, but life in you.
And since we have the same spirit of faith, according to what is written, "I believed and therefore I spoke," we also believe and therefore speak, knowing that He who raised up the Lord Jesus will also raise us up with Jesus, and will present us with you. For all things are for your sakes, that grace, having spread through the many, may cause thanksgiving to abound to the glory of God.
Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” (2 Corinthians chapter 4)

“Two are better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor.
For if they fall, one will lift up his companion.
But woe to him who is alone when he falls,
For he has no one to help him up.
Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm;
But how can one be warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him.
And a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
(Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, emphasis mine)

Apparently we need to pray for a thicket of people’s eternal souls.